nourishing your power

 
by meredith murphy

I have been merging with nature consciously since I was a small child.  I didn't think of it as anything unusual.  I will say though, I was well aware that the experience definitely had a certain charge!  A kind of magial, secret power...I knew there was something awesome about these moments in life and being a person aware of living this way even as a child I knew this. I also knew it was something to do by myself and often.

I used to go and sit outside on the front porch during a rain or even thunderstorm.  There was a little notch at the corner of the house created where the huge picture window frame jutted out and the surrounding brick was set back at the corner.  Just the right size for someone small enough to sit and not be seen from either direction.  I loved to sit there and become one with everything.  I love that I grew up in a household where I had lots of freedom to explore the outdoors and be.  No one interrupted me or worried about where I was.  I felt confident, connected, elated and entirely safe.  As I dissolved in my secret space, I would feel an incredible bliss arise.  I felt huge and spacious.  Elated and expansive.  I felt like ME. 

When I lived in Nashville I used to walk often at Radnor Lake.  As you walk around the lake the bushes are tangled and dense and when I could find an opening I would step off the trail and sit within the thicket.  As I relaxed and was still, without any effort on my part, I would feel the boundaries of my energy dissolve. I could then sense tiny movements and all kinds of life energy around me that I could not see or hear.  Lots of small birds which live darting in and out of these thorny bushes at amazing speed begin to come out in the open as though I was not there.  Playing!  People would walk by and not even notice me.  Meanwhile, I was getting a giant juiced up infusion of exhilarating life-force energy.  My awareness was non-local and I was part of the whole.  This mode of being I now know fed my energy body, (what I now know is my KA body) and again, an incredible bliss arose. From the release of all resistance and all identity?  I don't know.  But whatever it is, it works.

It's powerfully expanding to take your awareness, and thus your state of being, to different levels of focus on purpose.  To realize that you exist as YOU reading this simply by focus, and that you can alter that, anytime you want.

One of the ways I learned to channel consciously was to attune myself to the energy of another thing, and eventually, another focus and speak what I experienced.  

More and more I have returned to the simpler way of being that I engaged in as a child.  I just expand without words, and feel.

Today, I was very inspired by this image...this beautiful bird (finch?)  So delicate and free. 

I began to soften my own energy to attune to this gorgeous landscape...to imagine the feel of resting on a zinnia, wings tucked back, entirely supported.  At ease.

Openness takes me once more into spacious expansion, and bliss.  And with this openness is freedom--no obstructions to flow.  My vitality, an endless spring.

Then I began to see...and make connections.

For a long time I didn't make any correlation between these nearly daily experiences and my own enormous personal power.

I have always had an unusual amount of self-confidence and trust in my own power.  For much of my life, I didn't even know this was unusual.  Only as I got older did I gradually discover that not everyone felt this way.  I typically am so involved in my interests, what I'm learning, my passionate self-expression and being with friends and animals having conversation and fun, that I don't compare myself, I just AM.  As I began to work as a executive coach and strategic consultant, a career coach, leading teams and teaching, I realized my experience was more unusual than I had known.

The way any of you know me now, is in many ways, pretty much how I've always been.  I know what I feel and think.  I learn things quickly.  I'm quick and smart.  Clear and bold.  Energetic and positive. Creative and logical.  Soft and outgoing.  Love being alone and open and accessible to connect with.  Confident and enthusiastic.  Engaged and involved.  I make money easily, change my life as frequently as I like to keep up with me.  I find myself good to great at most things I turn my attention to.  I don't feel I need to prove myself to others and I don't care too much about what others think about me.  I don't feel I need a degree or a resume to open doors for me.  I've gotten all kinds of jobs and created work because it was what interested me and my energy and confidence made things happen.  I'm robust physically, coordinated and strong.  Loved and loving.  Connected and free.  I'm continually thriving, and moving toward greater thriving.  I trust life to speak to me.  I trust my presence, I trust the Universe and I believe in the innate capacity of YOU in much the same way.

Audacious?  Well, yes--by old paradigm criteria.  But isn't this somewhat the way self-love and empowerment feels like?  

For a long time I didn't make any correlation between these nearly daily experiences of non-local knowing and energizing, and this atypical human experience of enormous personal power.  In hindsight I see the energizing of my etheric body and this regular return to the fullness of non-local perspective, is the literal fountain of youth; sustaining my innocence, curiosity, flexibility, sense of self and ultimately, my feelings of being powerfully capable, deeply loved, vitally important and totally free throughout my life.

Amazing how simple it might just be to find your power, and to expand it.

It might not actually require you to participate in rituals, find a guru, commune with ascended masters, go back to school, spend thousand of dollars on therapy, or learn secret techniques.

I'm not knocking any of these approaches and I myself spent lots of money on therapy reclaiming aspects of my childhood.  Obviously I channel ascended masters and love the experience.  So these things work and are very helpful, but I am urging you to tap into something even deeper.

I noticed that even during the most difficult parts of my own years of therapy, I felt my own resilience, in a much stronger way then it seems others I know have been able to.  After an especially hard session, instead of feeling tired and sad, I used to ride my bike home from my therapist's office, roaring out loud at the top of my lungs about what I was going to be and do, while weaving amidst downtown Chicago traffic and feeling invincible. 

Why is that? 

I feel it has to do with these direct experiences with the true nature of reality that reveal our inherent God-ness and the bliss, that if you don't know how to find it, feels SO very elusive and if you do know it, sets you free--it grounds you in a fundamental state of worthiness and awesomeness that's kinda bullet-proof, actually.

Isn't all of adult life about going after the paths and things, experiences and relationships which will return us to a state of happiness we KNOW is fundamentally what life is all about?  Aren't we working towards that peaceful, blissed out state, seeking some kind of return in so many ways?

I keep thinking lately that life is really a path of returning to wholeness because in wholeness we feel powerful.  HUGELY POWERFUL.  And we're innately powerful.  It's natural.  When we're young and haven't forgotten this yet, we live differently...we're not worried about getting hurt.  We go and do what seems fun.  If we get knocked down, we mend and do it again.  We follow our heart.  We are open and innocent enough to feel life in so much richness it's glorious and mind-blowing on I-can't-wait-to-get-out-of-bed-and-ride-my-bike kind of daily basis.

I believe we can plug directly into all this just by returning to a non-local presence regularly. 

I now continue to create these experiences, only with a much fuller understanding of what is taking place.  I use solar flares, channeling and high-vibe energy of all kinds to nourish my energy.  I do this by becoming non-local, or one with everything, and this happens just naturally as I relax and allow.  I can also do it intentionally with my focus.

Looking back upon my early experiences with this shows me how natural this all is.  I was never afraid when I became one with the sky, the rain, with all of nature, when I extended my energy out to merge with the entire Omni-verse.  I just felt bliss. INCREDIBLE bliss.  You know--the way we feel after great sex, kinda bliss.  Think about it...

When you're in love and you have just had great mutually orgasmic sex, there is an intimate secret bliss between you and your lover.  A radiance that lasts and an energy field you're within (the non-local one you co-created and shared, btw).  You look at one another in knowing wonder and glee at what you've shared and felt.  There is deep satisfaction, fulfillment and peace.  You actually feel profoundly powerful, if you think about it.  And filled with love.

That's what I feel whenever I release my local identity of Meredith, and allow it to enlarge into an expanded non-local field of whatever I choose to be the boundaries.  I feel a huge sacred private connection that exhilarates me and alters everything that follows it.  I feel spacious, huge, gladdened, made more alive and inviolable.

I might expand into a connection with all of the planet, or just the rain, I might become one with a place I'm in, or enjoy an expanded and merged state of being with my pets or dissolve into the whole sky.  There may be forms within this field, but my awareness rests in the space within the forms and the space outside the forms; the non-local fluid omnipresent Oneness.

And in this openness, I feel, simply, like me.  The ultimate, infinite, splendiferous, cool, powerfully creative, loved, me.  The me that lives life, as Byron Katie, says, (reflecting total empowerment, nonchalance and trust), "Everybody already LOVES me, they just don't know it yet!"

 

 

Comments

[Karen]

YOU remind me of me...

[Meredith Murphy]

Karen, HOW fun...! Isnt it?
:) hee hee

[tania]

Fantastic. Truth. Wonderfully inviting. And synesthesia at its best.An enriching and enlivening post Meredith! Thankyou. Absolute heart centered quality. Tania x x x

[ann]

I could feel this sensation you write about as I was reading the words.....amazing